{"id":340778,"date":"2021-07-22T20:16:51","date_gmt":"2021-07-23T00:16:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/homeschool-mom-guilt\/"},"modified":"2025-09-04T14:48:47","modified_gmt":"2025-09-04T14:48:47","slug":"homeschool-mom-guilt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/homeschool-mom-guilt\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Homeschool Mom Guilt: 4 Tips for When Your Child Struggles"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><em><strong>\u201cNever let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your heart.\u201d <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n<cite>&#8211;Anonymous<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019ve been a parent for more than 5 minutes, you know that it can be really, really hard not to take your child\u2019s struggles personally. Dealing with your child\u2019s struggles just feels all too much like they are your own struggles.&nbsp;In other words: mom guilt, especially homeschool mom guilt, is a real thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But if we don\u2019t figure out how to separate the two, it can negatively affect our homeschool experience&#8211;and maybe our child\u2019s, too! Today we\u2019ll work on homeschool mom guilt by:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-rank-math-toc-block\" id=\"rank-math-toc\"><h2>Table of Contents<\/h2><nav><ul><li><a href=\"#sec1\">Stop Homeschool Mom Guilt Tip #1: Separating the teacher\/student and parent\/child relationships<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#sec2\">Stop Homeschool Mom Guilt Tip #2: Recognizing effort and progress<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#sec3\">Stop Homeschool Mom Guilt Tip #3: Utilizing the data to make improvements<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#sec4\">Stop Homeschool Mom Guilt Tip #4: Working through struggles to teach perseverance<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#conclusion\">Conclusion<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-large is-resized is-style-default\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2.jpg\" alt=\"homeschool mom guilt\" class=\"wp-image-340779\" style=\"width:400px;height:400px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"sec1\">Stop Homeschool Mom Guilt Tip #1: <strong>Separating the teacher\/student and parent\/child relationships<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s hard to take on the job of a homeschool teacher. Suddenly you\u2019re not just on duty for all the difficult parenting tasks, but you also have your child\u2019s academic career to head up, as well. That\u2019s a lot!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While as teachers we certainly need to strive for excellence in what we do, we also need to remember that the relationship has two parts. There is both a teacher and a student and while they work together, they are two separate entities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So always remind yourself: In your homeschool, you are the teacher. At the end of the day, your child is the student, and they have talents, challenges, and personalities that are not actually a reflection on you in the teacher role. Don\u2019t beat yourself up too much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While a good teacher can help make successful students, a student who struggles doesn\u2019t necessarily reflect the quality of the teacher. Despite the highest quality instruction, some students may take longer to \u201cget\u201d any given concept. It\u2019s not a surefire reflection on you as a teacher.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sure, you\u2019ll mess up. But that\u2019s where recognition of that, some apologies, and a change in course can make a world of difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And here\u2019s the even more important distinction: a child\u2019s struggles in school are NOT a reflection on you as a parent! You don\u2019t need to take on more concern for your child than is reasonable as a teacher. But because you are also your child\u2019s parent, you can help them work through struggles in a greater role than a classroom teacher.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The bottom line: Be kind to yourself in both roles. And understand that to intertwine yourself too much in the one you\u2019ve taken on academically may be undermining your own efforts if it causes you to doubt what you are doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"sec2\">Stop Homeschool Mom Guilt Tip #2: <strong>Recognizing effort and progress<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>While we may look at worse-than-expected final exams, standardized test scores, or progress reports and be tempted to despair, it\u2019s important to remember: each school year has a MUCH bigger story to tell than those numbers.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Did your child improve year-to-year? Did they learn how to break down concepts more effectively than they had previously? Are math facts coming more easily to your child? Then there is still so much to celebrate.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, if there are problems that need to be addressed then those can\u2019t be ignored. However, it\u2019s important to not let the good things be eclipsed by challenges. The two can exist at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So <a href=\"https:\/\/nicolethemathlady.com\/announcements\/beyond-ice-cream-30-ways-to-reward-kids\/\">celebrate the good<\/a>. And (we\u2019ll talk about this next) make sure you use what data you have to make the improvements you need to. Dealing with your child\u2019s struggles gets a lot easier when you can find the good in them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-large is-resized is-style-default\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2-1.jpg\" alt=\"homeschool mom guilt\" class=\"wp-image-340780\" style=\"width:400px;height:400px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2-1.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2-1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2-1-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2-1-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-2-1-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"sec3\">Stop Homeschool Mom Guilt Tip #3: <strong>Utilizing the data to make improvements<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, it is so much nicer to see high scores than low ones, and that\u2019s what we all want. However, not every child will do well in every possible area of every possible subject! And that should free us to not blame ourselves for the problems. Sometimes, sometimes, it just happens.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But the data you hate to see may be exactly what you and\/or your child needs right now. It can show you gaps you may not have realized were there. It can highlight what needs improvement. It can help uncover areas where your child is at risk of falling through the cracks.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And while that might *feel* like a failure, it\u2019s actually something of a gift. <a href=\"https:\/\/freedomhomeschooling.com\/should-homeschoolers-use-standardized-tests\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Test scores<\/a> or grades that show an area in which your child is not performing well mean that now you know you need to focus on that area. Taking time to shore up their skills in that spot can really help further down the road. It also provides you with a unique opportunity to invest time in them that might be what they need emotionally as much as academically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At any rate, just remember that the data is NOT there to indict you for not being good enough! It\u2019s simply there as a marker, an indicator, a piece of information.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-large is-resized is-style-default\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-3-1.jpg\" alt=\"homeschool mom guilt\" class=\"wp-image-340781\" style=\"width:400px;height:400px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-3-1.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-3-1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-3-1-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-3-1-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/IGFB-Mom-Guilt-3-1-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"sec4\">Stop Homeschool Mom Guilt Tip #4: <strong>Working through struggles to teach perseverance<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Struggles seem especially hard in children. Why? Because when you\u2019re young, every bad thing that happens to you may legitimately be the worst thing to ever happen to you! Without the perspective of age, so many difficulties seem far worse than they actually are. As such, it can be especially hard to watch our kids deal with these dramatic emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But it\u2019s so important that we do. That we choose not to swoop in and rescue them. And that we don\u2019t see all that drama as something that we may have caused. We almost assuredly did not&#8211;we are simply spectators as they encounter obstacles in life.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, we can step out of the spectator role and guide them through those struggles with an eye toward teaching them how to get through other hard things they may encounter. And while we shouldn\u2019t feel guilty for the hard things, coaching them through it can certainly help reinforce our role as a guide for them in a way that can keep any pesky guilt at bay.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"conclusion\"><strong>Conclusion<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Our kids capture our hearts. And that\u2019s a GREAT thing. We should love them as hard as we can. But when we start to get wrapped up in their failures (or successes), it can mean neither of us can grow as we should.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lots of kids struggle at times, with math or other difficulties. The temptation to take those on as a reflection on us doesn\u2019t really help them, and it can bring us way down, too. On the flip side, actively dealing with our child\u2019s struggles can really do great things to strengthen our relationship with them and free us of the guilt we might be tempted to feel.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So next time you see a score or mark that isn\u2019t what you\u2019d like, take a deep breath and remember it\u2019s probably not about you at all. But it can be about opportunity&#8211;for growth and perseverance for everyone involved!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Talk to you soon,&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nicole the Math Lady<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cNever let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your heart.\u201d &#8211;Anonymous If you\u2019ve been a parent [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":340783,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[45],"class_list":["post-340778","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-encouragement","tag-encouragement"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Mom-guilt-header.jpg","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Mom-guilt-header.jpg",1920,1080,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Mom-guilt-header-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Mom-guilt-header-300x169.jpg",300,169,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Mom-guilt-header-768x432.jpg",768,432,true],"large":["https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Mom-guilt-header-1024x576.jpg",1024,576,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Mom-guilt-header-1536x864.jpg",1536,864,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Mom-guilt-header.jpg",1920,1080,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Nicole Thomas","author_link":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/author\/nicolethemathlady\/"},"uagb_comment_info":3,"uagb_excerpt":"\u201cNever let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your heart.\u201d &#8211;Anonymous If you\u2019ve been a parent [&hellip;]","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340778","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=340778"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340778\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":853133,"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340778\/revisions\/853133"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/340783"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=340778"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=340778"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.nicolethemathlady.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=340778"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}